SAAB Story: Rescuing cars with Berang

"ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn)
03/26/2018 at 14:35 • Filed to: saab story

Late Friday night, I was already a couple of beers down (which may explain a certain lapse in judgment) when I came across an impassioned plea from Oppo’s resident Saabaholic, !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . He was hoping to save a couple of old Saabs from the crusher, but they were outside a barn about an hour north of Austin, and the person he had lined up to help had bailed.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Since I was apparently partially inebriated, and since no other foolish kindhearted Oppo had responded, I replied and said that I could help him out. I asked when, what, and how long, and he replied that we would meet at 3:00 and should be done about 7:00. It turns out that his 4-hour estimate was, shall we say, optimistic. Very optimistic.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

I had never met Berang before, but I was fairly certain I recognized his car. (Photo: I took this picture)

After leaving Berang’s real name and phone number with my wife since she was concerned that he might turn out to be an axe murderer (or at least partially insane), I met Berang at the U-Haul lot. He had a truck and trailer ready to go, and we headed north, arriving at the ranch at about 4:30. (I had thought about leaving my van at the U-Haul lot, but it turns out that we would be glad to have it. More on that later.) There were two cars (don’t ask me models, I have no idea), one of which had one good tire and was stuck in a rut next to the barn. The other was in significantly better shape, with four decent tires, so we tackled that one first.

The bullet holes are a nice touch. I think they are really speed holes. (I took this picture, too)

We knew we might be in trouble right away because neither one of us had any experience backing up a trailer. If you’ve never done it before, it’s quite difficult, as everything happens backwards of the way you think it should. Another problem we faced was that the trailer was designed for a modern vehicle, and the Saab was almost—but not quite—too narrow for the trailer. We had to be just about inch perfect to keep the car from falling off the ramps (which happened at least once with each car). After a few attempts at lining up the trailer, we decided to push the car in a big circle to get it on hard ground and pointing in a straight line and, more importantly, slightly downhill. Dodging wasps that were as big as B-29s, we managed to get it moved and lined up with the trailer. After a few attempts at pushing it up the ramp, we finally decided to use my Odyssey to push it up. I had to push it with the van in reverse since I didn’t want to trash my front bumper and license plate. But we finally got it loaded and, a little more than an hour after we started, we were ready to take it back to Austin. Things were looking pretty good. So far.

(I also took this picture)

You can see the other Saab in the background, laughing quietly at us (Berang took this picture)

The view from the back of my van. (Who took this picture? I did)

Once we got to the storage yard, it was more fiddling with the trailer (Berang was actually getting pretty good at backing it up by now), and we managed to push the car off the ramp into its assigned space. We were pleased with our success, but we knew the second car would be significantly more difficult. So we stopped at Auto Zone and Berang bought a couple of 5,000-pound (allegedly) ratchet straps and a tow strap. By now the sun was getting pretty low. It would be fully dark by the time we got back to the ranch, and I couldn’t see a damned thing because I had left my regular glasses in the van and had only my sunglasses. Berang thought it best if he did the driving. I agreed.

Here’s the second car. You can tell I took this picture before we tried moving it because the sun is still shining. You can also see the retched state of the tires. The back wheels are stuck in a rut formed by years of rain dripping off the barn roof. This car used to be under cover, but I think the owners tried pushing it out and said “Fuck it” when they got it this far.

Once back at the ranch, Berang hooked the tow strap to the trailer and pulled the car out of the rut. That was pretty easy, but rolling it by hand up the ramp proved to be impossible. So we towed it farther away from the barn so I could get the van behind it and we started pushing again. However, since the second car was a wagon, and had more overhang on the rear end, we had to stop using the van because the Saab’s bumper would have been pushing on the van door, not the bumper. As it was, I got some big scratches on the bumper, but it’s a 15-year-old van so I’m not really sweating it.

This is the bumper on my van. I just took this picture a few minutes ago. I don’t think the bumper going to get better, but I’m okay with this.

But now we were faced with a new problem. The car was about 75% of the way on the trailer, but would go no further. We couldn’t drive with the car hanging off the back, and we couldn’t push it the rest of the way with the van. And we didn’t want to push it off and leave it behind after all that work. So Berang hooked the ratchet straps to the trailer and the car and started ratcheting. The ratchets, however, were shit, and jammed and just didn’t work well. They also moved the car maybe an inch at a time. But there was simply no choice at that point but to get the damned car on the trailer. So, with Berang ratcheting, I put my back into it from behind and we finally got the car on the trailer. It was now 10:00 pm. Remember that bit about 4 hours? Berang said it was late and I was free to go, but I told him that there was no way in hell he was getting the car off the trailer by himself. I was all in at this point, and we were going to finish the job.

Finally on the trailer. I didn’t take any other pictures because it was dark. Really dark. Did I mention that the sun had gone down hours ago? (I took this picture with one eye closed because I was half asleep)

Back to Austin (I drove ahead to make sure I got to the store before midnight to buy myself some beer), and now we had to get the car off of the trailer. The space was pretty narrow, constrained by a trailer on one side and a boat on the other. The ratchet straps had both given up the ghost, so the only thing to do was put our backs into it and push like hell. After a lot of rocking, the Saab finally started to move, and the back wheels (flats, actually) were finally on the ground. At this point, we decided to just pull the trailer out from under the car. That worked, but the car was only half way into the space and simply would not move. It was now 12:30 am (remember 4 hours?). I would have stayed, but Berang cut me loose, saying he would return the next day to get it into the space, perhaps by using a spare and some of the good wheels from the other car. Oh, the things you think about only after it’s too late.

Had I taken one, this would have been a picture of the second car half way off the trailer at the storage yard, or maybe half way in the parking space. But it was midnight. And dark. And I was beyond taking pictures. (This isn’t really a picture, so nobody gets credit for it. It’s just a black rectangle that I made in Photoshop)

I headed home and had some supper and a couple of cold beers. Berang got home at 2:00 am and had to be at work the next morning. I assume Berang survived, because he made this post at about 3:30 Sunday morning.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

So, these are some of the things I learned from this experience:

Berang is good people. Dedicated, perhaps bordering on monomania, but passionate about cars and possessing an almost encyclopedic knowledge of things with wheels and engines.

Saving these cars was absolutely worth all the time and effort, and I’m not even a Saab guy (okay, they make pretty cool airplanes).

Next time, get the right trailer. Ideally, a flatbed would have been better, or at least a trailer with a narrower gauge.

Find somebody who knows how to back up a trailer accurately the first time.

Bring at least two more people. And food. Any maybe beer.

Above all else, bring one of these:

(I stole this picture from Google. I hope they don’t mind.)

But, perhaps more importantly, I learned that two people, even without the right tools, can accomplish something crazy as long as they are dedicated to seeing it through.

As much as it was hard work, as much as it was sometimes a comedy of errors that really needed Yakety Sax music in the background, I would do it again in a heartbeat. I don’t remember what Berang said he was going to do with the cars. I think he hoped to restore one and part out the other. At about midnight, I took a breather, sat on the trailer (with the car half off), and said, “You’d better do something fucking awesome with these cars.”

I’m sure he will.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

EDIT : This is what Berang plans to do with the cars.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Here are a few more random pictures of the cars that I took before I was exhausted. And while the sun was still shining.

(I took all the rest of these pictures)

DISCUSSION (56)

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 14:44

This was seriously legit of you to do. I’d like to think that I’d do the same thing, but maybe not as extreme. I’d probably bounce after 4 hours...

ttyymmnn > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever
03/26/2018 at 14:45

Didn’t want to leave a brother hanging. Happy to help.

Dusty Ventures > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 14:48

I kinda want that wagon...

ttyymmnn > Dusty Ventures
03/26/2018 at 14:49

It’s cool, but it’s in really rough shape. The blue sedan was in much better nick.

WilliamsSW > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 15:05

Great Oppo! !

Looking forward to seeing updates on those cars (and yeah, I realize it will be a while).

punkgoose17 > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 15:06

Yay you are both heroes. They are a Saab 95 and a Saab 96. From the pictures I would guess they are both 2 stroke 3 cylinder cars and he is using the fastback (96) to restore the wagon (95).

ttyymmnn > punkgoose17
03/26/2018 at 15:07

I think he said the blue one is a V4. But I’m not certain. I was just there for muscle.

Chariotoflove > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 15:08

This is the best Oppo I’ve ever read.

I may just renew my subscription after all.

The Swedish Bandit > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 15:10

Aah I’ve done that trip before. I once helped a friend go and get an old model A that was up in the north of Sweden a mere 500 miles from where we were.

We started 7 am in the morning and was expecting to be back home around the same time in the evening. However of course everything took way longer than expected (major issues loading the car and a locked up wheel on the trailer didn’t help) a we ended up being back 5 am the next day.

And just to make things even worse I had to be at work 8 am the same day!

ttyymmnn > The Swedish Bandit
03/26/2018 at 15:10

Do you regret it? I have absolutely no regrets.

The Swedish Bandit > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 15:25

Absolutly not! It was a horrible experience and I’ll probably remember it for the rest of my life. But it makes for a great story and we got a lot of experience on what not to do the next time we plan on buying something 500 miles away.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 15:29

I was wondering how this would turn out. Not too differently than I would have predicted, if I’m honest. It’s always time consuming, even when it goes smoothly.

ttyymmnn > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo
03/26/2018 at 15:33

I was this close to calling you for ideas when the second car was stuck 3/4 on the trailer. But I couldn’t for the life of me imagine how to explain the situation. In the end, the problem was solved by equal parts of imagination and brute strength. I’m pretty sure that’s how the West was won.

DutchieDC2R > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 15:34

This is Oppo. You, sir, are f*cking awesome!

ttyymmnn > DutchieDC2R
03/26/2018 at 15:36

Thanks. But, as I’ve said before, just trying to help a brother out.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 15:44

Harbor Freight makes a dorky little come-along that’s cheap and generally adequate when all you need is a quantity of oomph equal to maybe 1.5 more humans.

facw > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 15:48

Kinja'd!!!

ttyymmnn > facw
03/26/2018 at 15:51

Excellent choices all, but I’m particularly fond of the Tunnan and the Lansen.

ttyymmnn > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo
03/26/2018 at 15:51

We were so far away from Harbor Freight at that point....

BvdV - The Dutch Engineer > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 15:55

I applaude you for doing this! This is excellent Oppo!

facw > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 15:59

The Tunnan, Draken, and Gripen look good from pretty much angle to me, so lots of choices for those.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 16:07

As a man who was once moving a 5,000lb Lincoln after midnight, you don’t want one of the cable come-alongs in a derelict-moving tool set. What you want is an “engine hoist” chain ratchet, because the cable ones act up at the worst of times, but chains are forever.

Kinja'd!!!

Dusty Ventures > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 16:07

But wagon is love, wagon is life

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 16:20

Right. And perhaps from the bounds of reason... Just saying that for recovering inoperative vehicles, just making sure there are inflated tires is usually a separate task in and of itself. If you don’t know for certain that there is air in the tires, then bring a come-along. Note to Self for next time.

ttyymmnn > BvdV - The Dutch Engineer
03/26/2018 at 16:30

Thanks!

Berang > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo
03/26/2018 at 16:30

Unfortunately, while I did bring a tire pump, somebody decided to try and move the car out of the barn before we got there - which resulted in two of the tires coming off the rims, they apparently didn’t bother to try inflating them before moving the car. Then the rear wheel dunked into a rut, and they must’ve given up at that point and decided I would just have to deal with it.

RallyWrench > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 16:31

This is the best, infinity Oppo points to you both. Having pulled cars out of fields & storage well into the wee hours using all kinds of contraptions myself, I can sympathize. This are no longer the kind of project I will start after noon, better to assume it’ll take a whole day. If you get done early you just get to crack those beers in daylight. Exceptionally well earned beers for you!

ttyymmnn > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
03/26/2018 at 16:31

Good to know, but I doubt I’ll ever do this again. However, one never knows.

ttyymmnn > Dusty Ventures
03/26/2018 at 16:31

I do not disagree.

ttyymmnn > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo
03/26/2018 at 16:33

As Berang said, we tried to pump up the tires but they were just plain shot. Only in hindsight did I think to swap the good wheels from the other car, when that car was 40 miles away.

ttyymmnn > RallyWrench
03/26/2018 at 16:35

Thank you sir. Yes, I would have rather started early in the morning, but Berang’s schedule didn’t allow it.

Berang > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 16:35

In the end, I ended up pushing that wagon into its space using my car. I went home to get tools and WD-40 to remove a couple wheels from the 96. Got back to the storage lot and realized I had grabbed brake cleaner instead of spray oil... Then found out the wheel nuts on the 95 were a different size than those on my 95, so my lug wrench wouldn’t turn them.

I ended up letting the air out of the tires of my car, until the bumper heights matched, and slowly pushed the wagon back until the wheels were over the red line. Aired up, went home, got two point five hours of sleep, went to work where I worked for 7 hours without a break because our store manager sucks and another manager called in... I was definitely not cranky by the end of the day.

ttyymmnn > Berang
03/26/2018 at 16:37

Then found out the wheel nuts on the 95 were a different size than those on my 95, so my lug wrench wouldn’t turn them.

This sounds like our entire day in a nutshell. It was quite a day. Glad I could be there for it.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 16:42

I’ve had issues with the light duty come-alongs numerous times, but we had to default back to one (half-broken) and a chain unit that Jarod Rose’s uncle had after the heavy-duty cable one we had got bound up. It was a forged case one and not the flimsy sheet metal, but ironically the cable was too heavy to reel properly.

The light ones, though - always a way to get in trouble. The frames like to spread or get distorted, the teeth wear, the handles which support the teeth against the spool get sprung and bind in the frame...

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 17:21

Backing up a trailer is a bit of a learning curve. I think I could do it before I had my license though. Did help to have instruction.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 17:25

This is awesome Oppo! Cool of you to both save the old gals - I was looking forward to this story! Both cars look in surprisingly decent shape considering their age and the fact they’ve sat for ages. That wagon doesn’t look TOO rusty...is it worse than I think? The floorboards in it from that one pic look decently solid?

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Berang
03/26/2018 at 17:26

Did Ttyymmnn mention to you that he and I go back a ways?

Berang > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo
03/26/2018 at 17:30

No.

ttyymmnn > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars
03/26/2018 at 17:32

You’ll have to ask Berang that. I’m not at all qualified to say. It looked like all rust to me.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Berang
03/26/2018 at 17:38

More than fifty years.

Berang > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo
03/26/2018 at 17:57

You should have come out here for this.

ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 18:08

This is prime oppo! Good job on both of you.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Berang
03/26/2018 at 18:17

Yeah, I certainly would have. But I’m in Northern California.

XJDano > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 19:11

Good sir. Would love to help but miles (and miles away).

shop-teacher > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 19:35

You done good! Real good!

ttyymmnn > shop-teacher
03/26/2018 at 20:09

Thanks! It was a good day. I was glad I could help.

ttyymmnn > XJDano
03/26/2018 at 20:09

Then go help somebody where you live!

ttyymmnn > ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com
03/26/2018 at 20:10

Thanks! It was a good day.

TheRealBicycleBuck > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap
03/26/2018 at 20:57

I learned when I was 12. My friend’s dad told me to hook up a trailer to their one-ton Chevy and back it into the shop. When he realized I had no idea how to do it, he sat in the truck and gave me instructions. I was barely big enough to push in the clutch on that truck.

TheRealBicycleBuck > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 21:01

I knew you were a good guy when I met you in New Orleans. Good job!

Next time, you might consider hooking the tow strap to the front of the car, threading it over the front of the trailer and under the rear tire of the tow vehicle. Then roll slowly backwards. The strap will be trapped and hold the car in place while the trailer will be pushed underneath it.

XJDano > ttyymmnn
03/26/2018 at 21:13

Actually its in the works. I have the goods, just need a time to get together.

Good Karma

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > TheRealBicycleBuck
03/26/2018 at 21:53

Guess I cheated. I learned on an auto truck.

ttyymmnn > TheRealBicycleBuck
03/26/2018 at 21:55

Could have used that idea Saturday night! But I’ll keep it in mind.

TheRealBicycleBuck > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap
03/26/2018 at 22:52

Nah. It’s not cheating. Backing a trailer is a special skill most drivers never develop. I taught my kids the basics with a lawn tractor pulling a small dump trailer. If you can learn to back one of these tiny trailers, you can back anything.

Kinja'd!!!

Nauraushaun > ttyymmnn
03/27/2018 at 05:49

I would do it again in a heartbeat

This. It’s easy to say no and hard to say yes when someone asks for your help. But what else is life for? I’ve spent some late nights freezing my ass off helping nice people perform questionable tasks on questionable vehicles. I’d do it all again, all of it.

pip bip - choose Corrour > ttyymmnn
03/27/2018 at 06:03

good job!